A clear guide to choosing the perfect toy. Themidlife.com currently has no affiliate programs. Any recommendations below are for your convenience. We do not collect any fee on your purchases.
It’s no secret that when menopause hits, everything changes. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the bedroom. Once the estrogen is gone, all your erogenous zones get together and unanimously decide to change the rules.
It’s easy to get frustrated when your favorite foreplay fails to work (hello, nipples!), but rather than throwing in the towel, why not turn this into an adventure? Whether you’re partnered or solo, this is a great time to get to know your new body. I have long been a fan of vibrators, and this is a perfect time to (re)introduce them into your routine.
Gone are the days when the phallic-shaped, battery-powered, hard plastic vibrator ruled the marketplace. These days, many choices are available to meet every woman’s needs. Here’s a round-up of some of the more popular ones—both new and classic—tried and tested by yours truly.
Womanizer
https://www.babeland.com/sex-toys/p/BL42606/womanizer/womanizer-liberty-by-lily-allen
Power source: Rechargeable (USB)
Material: Silicone/ABS Plastic
Price: $80 – $100
This little vibe, also known as the Satisfyer, has grown in popularity over the past few years, working on a suction mechanism rather than a vibrating one meant to simulate oral sex. At the risk of outing myself as completely incompetent, I have to admit I can’t figure it out. It’s the only toy I’ve ever owned that requires work. To be blunt, I have trouble getting it to the right spot and keeping it there—I cannot focus on mechanics at such a time. A close friend of mine tells me hers is perfect for getting her going, but she can’t get off with it either. Other friends vow it’s the cat’s meow. I leave this one to you.
We-Vibe
https://www.babeland.com/sex-toys/p/BL4814/we-vibe/unite-couples-vibrator-by-we-vibe
Power source: Rechargeable (USB)
Material: Silicone (water resistant!)
Price: $100 – $200 (depending on the model)
This is a clever little toy that can be used alone but is great for couples, especially if you need external stimulation to reach orgasm during intercourse. It’s a vibrator that slips inside, so it hits both your clit and your G-spot simultaneously. It works with a remote so either one of you can take control during sex. Just clamping the damn thing on feels sexy as hell. The fit is snug enough that there’s room for your partner, and I speak from post-hysterectomy experience. The only drawback is the vibration hits your partner, too, so it’s pretty likely they’ll go off quicker than usual. You may want to get a head start.
Magic Wand
https://www.babeland.com/sex-toys/p/BL2487/magic-wand/magic-wand
Power source: Plug-in (corded)
Material: Vinyl/ABS Plastic
Price: $75 – $100
The Magic Wand is the OG when it comes to vibrators. They’ve tried to improve on it over the years (get lost, rechargeable version), but the giant, awkward-shaped, plug-in horror cannot be beaten. This thing packs such a wallop that there’s often no time for a decent build-up—that orgasm will jump out from nowhere and knock you off your feet. The only real problem with this one is that unless you live in a palace, you must be home alone to use it. It’s so loud I’m sure the neighbors think I’m doing construction.
Bullet
https://www.babeland.com/sex-toys/p/BLD484134/vedo/kiwi-rechargeable-instertable-bullet
Power source: Rechargeable (USB) or battery
Material: Various
Price: $10 – $80
The convenience of the bullet can’t be beat, but I’ve yet to find one that packs a sufficient punch. I mean, it’ll get you there in a pinch, but you can’t depend upon it for an earth-shattering orgasm. If, however, you’re new to the whole sex toy game, the bullet is an excellent starter vibe. It doesn’t look particularly phallic, it’s quiet, and it’s completely non-threatening. But unless you’re the kind of person who likes a quickie with little variation, you’ll quickly move on to better things.
Rabbit
https://www.babeland.com/sex-toys/p/BLD429605/cal-exotics/petite-jack-rabbit
Power source: Rechargeable (USB) or battery
Material: Silicone or TPR/ABS
Price: $60 – $150
The Rabbit, while also a classic, is a bit like that friend who tries to be everything to everyone. You’ve got the dildo, the clitoris stimulator, the beads inside the damn thing that revolve, and a confusing control panel to operate the whole thing. And like the Magic Wand, it’s loud AF. That said, I had hands down the best toy-related orgasm I ever had using a Rabbit. But it’s too big, bulky, and noisy for everyday practical use. Plus, my husband bursts into laughter every time I pull it out.
Dual Massager
https://en.sensationsplus.com/products/vibrateur-wand-essentials-dual-duches
Power source: Rechargeable (USB)
Material: Silicone
Price: $80 – $100
Call me vanilla, but this model is still my favorite. It features many of the mainstays of the classic vibrators, but it’s been given enough twists that it completely rocks my boat. First, it’s soft and flexible—excellent for those hard-to-reach spots. In addition, it’s got two ends, one for penetration and one for clitoral stimulation. Finally, it has many different settings and speeds depending on whether you’re in for a quickie or a nice, drawn-out play session. It’s relatively quiet, but you must keep your head when hitting the off button in an emergency. Don’t ask how I know.
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