It can be hard to dress your post-menopause body. Everything has shifted, for one thing, which means the clothing you once loved just doesn’t look the same. I’ve always liked wearing simple dressing. No scarves, no prints, no accessories. In other words, nothing that would hide my new belly.
A few years post-menopause, nothing fit! And those easy outfits I’d always adored had to be shelved. So I did that thing so many of us do: I tried to wait it out. I’d up my exercise! I’d forgo sugar. I’d get my shape back.
It was a lovely young naturopath who delivered the verdict; there is no going back. She likened the changes a body goes through in menopause to the ones we experience during pregnancy. Some vital things have shifted, and nothing will ever be the same.
I didn’t love the prospect, but I could accept it. It’s not like I’d ever had a model’s figure. But I struggled. The kinds of clothing I’d always liked – body-skimming knits, athleisure – just didn’t fit the new me.
Midlife women want clothing that’s chic and comfortable. And that can be hard to find, especially on a budget.
In my 40’s I’d become a dedicated declutterer. I pared down the collections of stuff I’d gathered over the decades. Books, knick-knacks, gadgets; only the useful or beautiful got to stay. In my 50’s I turned my attention to my clothing.
My general decluttering strategy involves getting rid of five things per day. It turns out this is a terrific way to declutter your wardrobe. It can be jarring to dump every piece of clothing that no longer flatters or fits. Nipping in to pull out a few items at a time gets the job done with far less trauma.
But it’s one thing to get rid of a lot of outdated, unflattering clothing. The hard part is replacing it. I not only wanted clothes that looked good, but I wanted the whole act of getting dressed to be easy.
And so, after years of staring into my closet with no idea what to wear, I came up with a plan: I’d create my uniform. I wanted flattering clothes, that all went with one another, and I wanted, for the first time in my life, a signature look.
I started with a color palette. I generally wear blue and gray, black and cream and white. So that’s all I looked at. Start with the basics, I told myself; you can branch out later.
I’ve always been busty, so button-ups are hard to wear. But one day, browsing clothing, I found the shirt of my dreams. White cotton, button-up but boxy. It fit me perfectly; shoulders where shoulders are meant to be, but no straining at the bustline. The bottom hit at just the right place.
At the time, I was a platinum blonde. The combination of white blonde hair and the white shirt was perfect. I looked rosy and healthy. I’d found just the right thing.
My only mistake? Buying just one!
Soon I was on the lookout for white shirts and sweaters. Pure white, ivory, cream, eggshell – all the whites. I only buy them if they’re flattering and made of natural fibers.
It’s hard to express how much easier it is to shop! While I do occasionally drift into colors, I can tell almost at a glance if a store has what I’m looking for. No more hemming and hawing and trying to convince myself that the wrong thing is really right.
Black pants were the natural accompaniment to all that white. At first, I worried that I’d look like a caterer, but I guess I’m a little more stylish than that. I do wear jeans when it’s appropriate, and honestly, jeans are fine an awful lot of the time these days. Otherwise, it’s all black and white.
The fun comes with shoes and bags, two things that fit no matter what your waistline is doing. I’m still not big on accessories, but a cool pair of shoes balances the crisp white shirt and keeps my outfits fun.
I now have several pairs of black pants, a couple of pairs of jeans, and a wide variety of white shirts in cotton and linen. Getting dressed is so easy!
While my clothing is (almost) all black or denim on the bottom, and white on top, I’ve got dressier versions and more casual variations. I do mix it up sometimes and break out the colors, but if I’m in a hurry or don’t feel like putting together an outfit I know there’s a combo that will work for any occasion.
I’d heard about the capsule wardrobe, of course, but somehow I could never quite picture it. I prefer to think of my small clothing collection as my uniform. In it I feel comfortable and I feel like me. And as I drift into middle-aged invisibility, this uniform helps me feel grounded.
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