I have few friends my age (and younger, for that matter) who don’t hold some criticism about their bodies. What’s more, everyone seems transfixed on the latest cleanse, 30-day diet, and trendiest workout. Advice on how to reverse the clock, reverse gravity, and reverse the inevitable physical changes of aging flood our social media feeds. No wonder we’re so critical of our bodies. You’d think that appearance makes up the bulk of our worth at our age.
Unfortunately, our culture often buys into this scam on a massive scale. We all coo and wow when someone our age brazenly shows some sex appeal, and that’s great. Being forty-five doesn’t automatically turn us all into nuns. But why do we have to show sex appeal while looking younger and slimmer? Ever notice that “midlife comebacks” strangely resemble the appearance of a 20-something? See where I’m going with this?
Why do we have to look younger than we are to feel sexy? Why does some arbitrary invisible force get to decide that for us? Why does the media still have a stranglehold on us? Why does it get us all worked up about living up to some imaginary standard of American beauty? Why can’t we look healthy, sparkling, and vibrant at our age—wrinkles, cellulite, and all? We all have every right to try fitting into the mold of the latest middle-aged comeback, but we should have a choice, right?
Change is inevitable. Everything is in a constant state of change, including our bodies. This change is natural and part of the flow of life. We don’t have to pressure ourselves to reverse the clock. We don’t have to beat ourselves up for not looking the same as we did in our 20s and 30s. To do so is to resist the flow of life. Ancient cultures recognized this and revered women and their bodies through every stage of life. In contrast, modern cultures have encouraged generations of women to attach their self-worth to their size. But what if we view our bodies with compassion instead? What if we accept our bodies as they are now? I’ll tell you what. What others think—and what our society thinks—wouldn’t matter. Let’s not give away our power according to our size anymore. Let’s release that pressure on ourselves.
The truth of the matter is that your body, right now, is miraculous. Say that to yourself: “My body is miraculous.” Women’s bodies are powerful and inspiring. They’ve endured with us, they work hard for us, they nurture others, and they birth new life into the world. They are the miraculous vehicles through which we experience the joys and pains of life. When we look in the mirror, let’s celebrate how strong our bodies are. Haven’t had the time to exercise? Have compassion for yourself. Maybe you’ve been a little busy taking care of life (and others). Haven’t been eating the best? Have compassion for yourself, and incrementally incorporate healthier eating habits into your life that work for you. If we stop and honestly listen to our bodies, they will tell us what they need to thrive.
The answer doesn’t have to lie in the latest detox or the trendiest workout. Don’t believe cultural myths that paint our middle-aged bodies as invisible. Instead, honor the masterpiece that your body is by nourishing it in a way that feels fulfilling and healthy to you. Everyone is different, so different things will work for each of us. Trust what feels good to you. Moving our bodies doesn’t have to mean putting ourselves through torturous workouts—It means finding movement that brings you enjoyment and sticking with it. During your workouts, check in with yourself. How does it make you feel on the inside? How do you feel afterward? If the thought of burpees and pullups is dreadful, don’t do them. If you love the way your bootcamp class makes you feel, then stay with it. You don’t have to run marathons to achieve real health benefits—You just have to move. So move in a way that feeds your soul. If a certain workout has you counting the minutes till it’s over, find something else—something that you get lost in. This approach may sound simplistic, but long-term, it has staying power. Maybe lower-impact movement like dancing, swimming, walking in nature, or yoga are more your thing. Then do that, do it consistently, and do it for the way it makes you feel, not for how it might make you look.
Food is one of the pleasures of life, so enjoy it! Practice mindful eating, and listen to your body as you take each bite. Pay attention to how you feel after eating certain foods. Do you feel energized, or sluggish? Are you full after 5 bites? Then simply stop eating. Feed your soul–not your boredom, your stress, or your pain. Eat to nurture yourself, not to numb out from the day’s challenges. Try to choose a good amount of food that comes from the earth, not a factory, and pay attention to your portions. Want that chocolate? Have a little, and enjoy every bite. Give yourself compassion when you overindulge. Eat because you love your body, the way it is, right now.
Adopting new habits and mindsets takes consistency and time. There’s no shame in taking baby steps to start. The point is to be true to your instinct—and your individual needs. You can also try experimenting with affirmations. What do you love about yourself? Your body? Affirmations train our minds to listen to that critical voice inside us that notices every way we think we’re not “enough.” Catch yourself when this voice appears, then go stand in front of a mirror with compassion and love. Notice all of the wonderful ways your body works for you, and say your affirmations. Finding this tough? Try again tomorrow, and at the very least, say, “My body is miraculous.” Because it is.
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