Can you or anyone explain to me who “they” are? I’m not sure who “they” are, but I have found that throughout my 50 years of living, “they” seem to lie… A LOT! I have spent probably more time than I should be trying to find out who “they” are and what makes them an expert at so many things. And how can “they” be so wrong on everything important?
I never thought much about menopause until I had to. I was living with my husband and kids, and then BAM! There it is, right there!
I thought, “ok – how bad could it be? This is a good thing. No problem – I’ll get through this – everyone does”. Then you get into the thick of it and feel like something has completely taken over your body. That, my friend, is no longer yours. You start to get bloated just looking at a carb and trying to get rid of it? Oh, that is an easy fix that requires you to quit your job, work out from sunup to sundown, and maybe consume 37 calories. A diet that consists of water and possibly two grapes at best.
Not to mention just the overall feeling of being miserable. Things that weren’t even an issue before are major issues now. For instance, I have frequent thoughts as I look at what has always been my adoring husband: why is he chewing so loud? Has he always? Was he raised in a barn, and somehow, I never knew this? Does he need to breathe so loud? I could harm him right now because if he doesn’t quit breathing so loud, it’s going to be a huge problem. Why is he winking at me before leaving for work? That must mean he wants to fight about the thickness of the oatmeal I prepared for him, so I will start it off instead of playing his game. How does it end, you ask? It ultimately culminates in him looking confused and trying to run out the door and me crying that nothing I do is ever good enough. Please don’t get me started with the kids. My kids are older teens, and one would think that being as self-sufficient as they are, as we have raised them to be, could be SO needy at times! And when you call them out on it, you are the crazy lady who used to be their mom! Sound familiar? Or have I just gone into some menopause dark hole that seems so hard to get out of some days?
Menopause is hard; no one prepares you for what really can happen to you, your body, and your life. It changes; it ALL changes. “They” tell you it’s part of being a woman, and here are some pills to get you through it. The weight gain, the depression, the mood swings, it’s all very real, and not everything is just a quick fix with a pill.
I have been fortunate, and we have a very close and open family dynamic. Once, I felt things getting out of control, and after seeing a few doctors and not wanting just to be medicated for everything, what has worked for me is feeling my feelings. Being open with my family and saying, “Hey – this is hard, this is not me, but these things are going to happen, and I need your support and patience”. Everyone is different. Everyone’s menopause experience is going to be different. Always do what’s right for you (and the health and well-being of your family). Always be true to yourself and know that you are not alone. We are all going through it, and we are all here for each other.
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