Midlife crisis is when everything goes for a toss, our beliefs seem worthless, our accomplishments sound hollow, and we question every damn thing about our lives and decisions. We take an agonizingly long time, even over a simple decision like which shirt to wear to the office. Indecisiveness plays a big part in making us less sure about ourselves, which will, in turn, feed the ‘question everything monster’ even more.
Moreover, the midlife crisis is challenging and painful because everything we had aimed for seems useless now. Our prized possessions and proud moments seem worthless now. On top of things, if the sufferer starts questioning everything around them, it becomes an excruciating and dark time of their lives. Sometimes in our lives, we take numerous things for granted, and that too for years on end, and then suddenly, in the grip of a midlife crisis, we start questioning everything, and then all hell breaks loose.
The biggest casualty in any midlife crisis is the loss of confidence in oneself. It takes a beating with time. You depend on a loved one for every little decision and advice.
Trust Yourself For Once: One Small Decision at a Time
While you are questioning everything about yourself and your life, there is something in you that is ‘all yours’ and should be your fundamental belief. Trust yourself over whatever decisions you take, no matter how small or trivial, to the world.
The first step in such a situation is to take small baby steps and make small decisions without consulting your spouse/parents/friends, or colleagues. If you don’t want to, you can choose not to inform the world. And when the decision matures, i.e., that thing ends, you can see how you stood the test of time. If your gut feelings were right, you would undoubtedly be pleased with yourself. Plus, it would be a significant victory for your spirit, moral being, and confidence. And then gradually build your confidence, one small step at a time. Then start making decisions in the outside world too.
Also, it would be unquestionably better if the decisions were taken in the confines of your home so that you don’t have to worry about the loss of face even if something doesn’t work out right.
Make Questions As Your Ally: Turn Poison into Medicine
If you hate your ‘questioning-self’ like an enemy, you can turn the tables around by making these questions as an ally. Make your weakness your inherent strength, and watch yourself grow! Like the Buddhist philosophy of turning “Poison into Medicine.”
It is just a matter of perception because questions help sharpen and focus our thinking. Instead of non-consequential questions, ask yourself empowering questions, which will help refine and polish your personality to the next level.
And how do we accomplish this? So, due to whatever circumstances, you are already in the questioning phase, so how about asking “the right questions” to mould you into a better person who is more connected with your physical, spiritual, and mental self.
Ask more affirmative questions to help you search for the ‘true’ self. They will make you a better person who will lead a more effective and efficient life. You also need to question the things you dream about and ask yourself, ‘ Why aren’t they a reality in my life?’ When these things are so important that you dream about them, you must make them a reality in your life.
Fundamental Questions of Life: A New ‘You’
You need to ask yourself these fundamental questions to understand your life better. The right questions are essential because they give you a sense of purpose and direction. It would be best to have an inquiring mind because only you can diagnose and solve the midlife crisis and have a better life.
What is your mission in life that gives you happiness and is helpful to others too?
This question is challenging and will help you find your ultimate life mission. It will require observation and reflection from time to time. You will find that your answer to this question gets refined and sharpened over time too.
What is that thing in the world that I am best at?
The previous question answered your basic life’s mission. Now we need to get into the logistics of it. After getting at least a rough idea of your life’s mission, you should delve deeper to find the specific niche on which you should focus your career.
How can I contribute to the world and society?
This metaphysical question will form the basis of an enriching and fulfilling life. We often think we are mediocre and can’t give back to the world. But you ought to remember that you have talents and capabilities in several fields which, when seen together, give you a unique combination that nobody else has. Never forget that you are a special and unique person.
After such a dark phase in my life, how can I turn my life around?
The previous three questions gave you a blueprint about how you can have a more enriching life. But the blueprint is only helpful when you implement it. And due to a midlife crisis and lack of confidence, it might also seem daunting and overwhelming.
But don’t worry – it is not overwhelming at all. Any mountain is attainable by scaling it with small, steady steps consistently. Take a deep breath and take one small step in the right direction—only one step at a time.
As every cloud has a silver lining, so does midlife crisis. Even though the path may be arduous, the affirmative questions will undoubtedly shape you into a better version of yourself with a clear sense of determination and direction in life.
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