Stephanie Morris

Do the men in your life know or care to know about your menopause or menstruation? In a recent study, 20 men from different age demographics were asked about their knowledge and interest in those two topics. The study hypothesis was: that males do not know much about menopause and menstruation, but they would be willing to learn more about them if given the opportunity. Here are some of the findings:

  • Most men knew the basic definitions of menopause (the end of the menstrual cycle) and menstruation (the monthly shedding of the uterine lining post-ovulation when implantation does not occur).
  • Two admitted to not knowing about one or the other.
  • Three men expressed confident knowledge beyond the standard definition — two of whom are medical doctors. 
  • All but one of these men have close female relationships. 

These findings raise the question: Why, if 95% of the men have these close relationships, less than 20% expressed comfortable knowledge?

While it is tempting to fault men for this ignorance, the reality is that most women are still learning about their own menopause or menstrual cycles. Fortunately, based on the questionnaire, all of the men expressed a willingness to learn more about menopause and menstruation. The #1 way in which these men want to get their new information? Word of mouth from the females in their lives.

The importance of men understanding more about women’s health is essential to related research and women’s empowerment movements. If there is to be access to better treatments and resources for women’s health, male voices are needed. What role can you have in this? Be an advocate for women everywhere by looking beyond your peers and engaging in conversations about topics like menopause and menstruation with your male counterparts.

With all male relationships, an important first step in creating space for these conversations is to be intentional with sharing how you are feeling and why during times of hormonal change. Here are some other suggestions that are relationally specific on how you can breach these subjects and give men pause for your nature and health:

Husbands:

Husbands know that during certain weeks, their wives behave differently. A comment found funny one week isn’t funny the next. Hormones affect emotions, energy, libidos, and more; thus, they affect marital relationships. Communication combats any frustration and confusion that may arise during these hormonal shifts. Invite your husbands into your world so they can better understand and support you. Here are some suggestions on how to do this:

  • If you are still menstruating, send your partner to shop for tampons and pads with the rest of the groceries.
  • If you track your fertility or menstrual cycle, show them your app or charts.
  • Talk about your symptoms and ask your partner to bring you comfort aids like a heating pad, painkillers, or hormone-related medications. 

Why is this important? Your husband is your life partner, and your health is a significant aspect of your life. Having someone you can lean on when you’re not feeling your best is valuable. Your husband can bring the massages, the hot teas, the chocolate, and the support when you are open and honest about what menstruation and menopause do to you. The needs during these times are different for every woman, so the sex-ed lesson your husband took in junior high school will not suffice. Sharing your experiences educates them and allows them to care for you more intentionally.

Your sons:

Start them young! Kids are naturally inquisitive, and your sons may notice that you engage in toilet time differently than they do. Period blood, tampons, and pads are not something they understand. However, their curiosity provides an excellent opportunity for normalizing female biology. Childhood is also a time of developing emotional regulation, so talking about big feelings and moods is relevant. Including your own reflections on your fluctuating emotions is certainly applicable. Here are ways you can start these conversations with your sons:

  • If your sons ask questions, answer them.
  • Read books or watch videos together that are age-appropriate for your child.
  • Have intentional conversations in the teenage years about the changes some of their peers may be going through and give them ideas on how they can support them.

Why is this important? Your sons may one day be husbands or fathers, and while women don’t need a man to save them in times of woe, support is certainly appreciated. There are stories about girls who, surprised by their period, are given a boy’s sweater to cover up their pants while they navigate their next steps. Imagine how proud you would be if that were your son who, instead of laughing or looking away shyly, stepped up and aided that girl through a biologically normal circumstance. Let’s give your sons the best tools to support the ladies in their future.

Your fathers/brothers:

Historically, women have been advised to keep their womanhood private. As a result, your fathers may be just as new to the truth behind menstruation and menopause as your brothers. Here’s how we can bridge that gap and enlighten both generations of men:

  • Ask them directly if they know what menopause or menstruation is, and then explore the definitions together.
  • Have open conversations about your experiences or symptoms in the common areas with other females in the household.
  • If you need help with something, ask your male family members to help. To be a step ahead, show them where the heat pads or specific medication are ahead of time.

Why is this important? Fathers, and often brothers, are intrinsically wired to protect and provide for their families. Inviting these men into women’s health conversations allows them to gain insight into excelling at their self-proclaimed duties towards you. By being open about what you’re going through, you may also indirectly encourage them to talk with your mom about what she goes through. With more knowledge comes more holistic care for everyone.

Your friends:

Whether you’re talking about your romantic relationships, discussing your children, or learning collectively in an educational environment, there are many opportunities for discussing female biology and health with your male friends. Chances are that if you have ever had a question about menopause or menstruation, your male friends have more. Women educating women is important, but women educating men is also valuable. Here is how you can approach this education with your male friends: 

  • If you are a student, continue the conversations outside the classroom.
  • Post relevant articles on your social media pages.
  • Share resources like books, podcasts, or television shows you find helpful.
  • Be direct about your symptoms. Are period cramps ruining your plans? Tell them. Is a menopausal hot flash interrupting your conversation? Name the culprit.

Why is this important? If someone is your friend, it means they care about you. It means there’s a level of vulnerability and trust shared between the two of you. Allowing your friends into your physical realities allows for more understanding and care. Plus, think of the relief you’ll have not had to make white-lie excuses when you need to cancel or adjust your social plans!

Why is all of this important?

Men exist in the research field, the healthcare field, and the corporate world. Their engagement in topics surrounding women’s health has leverage. It is worth it to give men pause for you and your health. Women will garner more sympathy and support from their male counterparts, and women’s opportunities and health knowledge will increase. It’s win-win!

Stephanie Morris

Stephanie Morris is a writer based in Alberta, Canada. She is a wife, a mom of two, and a newcomer to the career-writing world. As a fancier of history and literature, she aspires to blend the two in fiction and nonfiction pieces. She extends a special thank you to the men that graciously aided in the interview process of this article. To follow Stephanie’s writing adventures, follow her at @words.and.smores on Instagram.