Once a child becomes a teenager, they become distant from their parents and are harder to connect with. However, you can strengthen your relationship by speaking your teen’s love language. Let’s take a look.
What are the five love languages?
According to Healthline, “The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Love languages don’t just apply to romantic relationships. They can be helpful in your platonic relationships, too.”
Love languages are the brainchild of Dr. Gary Chapman and can be used to improve all types of relationships. Given below are some expert tips on how you can do so.
Pay close attention
Like any other relationship, paying attention is key in parenting. Parenting consultant Roma Norriss agrees. “You might have to look quite hard to notice the loving gestures coming from your teen because sometimes they can be subtle. For example, their words of affirmation might sound less like ‘love you so much, you are the best parent anyone could ever wish for’ and more along the lines of a sarcastic ‘Wow, you’re not as dumb as I thought you were.’
Easy-to-miss signals like your child requesting to practice their kung fu on you can be a bid for quality time. Similarly, any time your adolescent asks you to do something for them that they can easily do for themselves, it can be a request for attention. The child who brings you breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day might be more oriented to acts of service. If your teen goes out of their way to walk into town and buy you a box of chocolates on your birthday, perhaps gifting is their primary love language.
Ultimately, what your teenager needs to thrive and perform at their best academically is to feel a strong connection with you. Even if they seem to push you away, paying attention to how your love is received makes a difference. Suppose your child is going through a difficult phase; increase the dose of loving gestures. Then, trust that you did the groundwork when they were younger and that they will get through this phase of life.”
Use the Good Together app
Good Together is an app that helps parents connect with their teens in just 3, 5, and 7-minute regular intervals. Founder and Relationship Expert Jerry Brook says, “What do the five love languages have in common? Building better relationships, that’s what. They all involve mutual connections with respect for the values of others. The Good Together Game app can help you make these interactions easier.
It’s simple to use. Begin by creating your Love Language Social Circle, for example, ‘Words of Affirmation.’ Next, craft your list of affirmations. Be creative and concoct as many affirmations as possible – there is no limit. Now, link your affirmations list to your circle. Add people to your ‘Words of Affirmation’ social circle – as few as one person or as many people as you know. Then the magic takes over. Hit ‘Play,’ and the game randomly selects a person from your social circle. This is followed by a random timeframe of 3, 5, or 7 minutes and, finally, a spontaneous affirmation from your list. From there, it is up to you. Share your affirmations, act out your affirmations, explain your affirmations, and so on. The possibilities are endless.
A love language is not enough; knowing how to speak it makes it indispensable. The app does this, provides spontaneity, and removes the stress of knowing what to do or for how long to do it.”
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
It will take time to figure out your teen’s love language, so go easy on yourself. Give yourself grace, and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Carly Kaufman, co-founder of GRYT and a teen Behavioral Education Psychology Educator, explains why it is a process that may be hard but is worthwhile.
“It is important to note that not all teenagers have the same love language. Therefore, parents must understand their teen’s primary love language and communicate with them accordingly. Experts suggest that parents can use trial and error to determine their teen’s love language by observing how they respond to different expressions of love.
Also, it is crucial to use digital tools for ‘netizen teens’ and teens who live away from their parents. This includes sending text messages, tagging them in social media posts, and playing online games together. Parents can use digital tools to connect with their teens, establish boundaries, and monitor their online activity to ensure safety.
Understanding and speaking your teen’s love language is crucial for building a strong and healthy relationship with them. With the help of love languages and digital tools, parents can effectively communicate with their teens and show them how much they are loved and valued.”
Leave a Reply