Since 1970, June has been globally celebrated as Pride Month. It is a time dedicated to remembering the LGBTQIA+ community’s struggle for civil rights. It is also a time dedicated to celebrating its culture, history, and positive impact.
Pride Month is celebrated not only by the LGBTQIA+ community but also by people outside it. The cisgender and heterosexual people who celebrate Pride Month are called allies, and their allyship is crucial to replacing discrimination with inclusivity. Because even in 2023, LGBTQIA+ individuals do not have half the same rights and acceptance as heteronormative individuals. And of late, it is the T or transgender folks who are facing the most hate and violence, particularly in the United States.
The irony is Pride Month came into place largely because of the activism of transgender people like Marsha Johnson and Sylvia Rivera in the 1969 Stonewall Riots. Instead of getting their due regard, the transgender community is reeling under the worst anti-transgender legislation in history.
The New Republic reports that “the laws proposed around the country by Republicans would make a life for transgender people functionally impossible”. Can you imagine how hard life must be for a trans kid in America today? Something as basic as going to school has become an enormous struggle. The LGBTQ+ community has always been more prone to suicide attempts than the general population, and transgender youth face the highest risk, according to this survey. They need allies more now than ever, so liberal parents must educate their preteens and teens. Here are some ways to help your child be a good ally to transgender peers.
1. Education, an open mind, and leading by example are paramount
To be a good ally, you need to know the basics, like what makes a person transgender, the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation, gender diversity, and so on. Parents must have a learner’s mindset, which they can impart to their kids by demonstration. Having an open mind is also vital for your teen to feel comfortable enough to talk to you about anything.
Jillian Amodio, a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Moms for Mental Health, agrees. “One of the best ways for parents to help their children learn how to be an ally and to engage in ally-aligned behaviors is for the parent to be lifelong learners. The more we know about different populations, backgrounds, identities, and cultures, the more we can understand the difficulties they face and the actions we can take to offer acceptance and support and work toward advancements and change.
Parents should talk openly with their teens about the news and media coverage of LGBTQ rights. Parents who show support for LGBTQ rights in their own words and actions are leading by example and guiding their children on what it looks like to be an ally. Read diverse books, watch inclusive shows, and engage in reflective discussions. If your children have questions, guide them toward resources to develop a deeper understanding. It is also important for parents to challenge youth to examine their prejudices, judgments, and misconceptions.”
2. Foster empathy and teach your kids to be trans-inclusive.
As society becomes increasingly trans-exclusive, allies must be as actively trans-inclusive as possible. Ash Beckham, inclusion expert and author of Step Up: How to Live with Courage and Become an Everyday Leader, gives some tips on how to build an inclusive community.
“As much as parents and adult community members do to create inclusive policies and environments, peers are the most impactful in creating safe, inclusive cultures (or the opposite) for transgender teens. The most critical starting point is education and awareness. Parents can start by educating themselves on transgender identity, terminology, and experiences. By gaining knowledge, they can effectively address any misconceptions and stereotypes their teens might have. Parents can also encourage open and non-judgmental communication with their kids by creating a safe space where they feel comfortable discussing topics related to gender identity and transgender issues. Parents must be willing to challenge any discriminatory or derogatory language or behaviors that their teen might witness and explain why such actions are harmful.”
And at the core of it all, parents must help teens develop and practice empathy so they can stand up to discrimination and be true allies. Ash explains how you can implement this.
“Parents can help teens develop empathy by encouraging them to see the world through the eyes of their transgender classmates. Parents play a crucial role in nurturing their teens’ inclusive mindsets and attitudes toward transgender classmates. Empowering teens with the knowledge and skills to be allies is the most consequential step parents can take to build a more inclusive society, where everybody is respected and celebrated for who they are.”
3. Show your support by being mindful of your words and actions.
Parents must encourage their children to recognize and shut down all forms of transphobia. Use inclusive and gender-neutral language so that trans folks feel comfortable being themselves around you. Show your child how to be supportive of peers regardless of their gender identity, sexual orientation, and external appearance. After all, who we are on the inside matters most, and human rights come first. For example, pushing for gender-neutral bathrooms in schools is a cause everyone can get behind.
Jillian Amodio says, “Parents should teach youths that our words hold power. We should use our words carefully and understand that even jokes can be hurtful. Make sure they understand the importance of addressing a trans peer by their chosen name and pronouns, be it at school or in social spaces. Encourage your teen to respect pronouns and not assume anybody’s gender or sexual identity. Normalize these conversations in the home.”
As parents, you must also take action to show your allyship. For example, declaring your pronouns when introducing yourself demonstrates that you accept trans folk and do not believe in the outdated gender binary. People of all ages and from all walks of life can do their bit to support the T in LGBTQ+.
Jillian elaborates: “Getting involved in advocacy work, attending pride events, supporting pride initiatives, and showing support through small but impactful actions such as yard signs, flags, pins, and attire can help express that you are a safe person to come to for support, that you are an ally.”
4. Be an outspoken trans rights activist.
Trans rights are human rights. And since trans rights are under threat, it is time for heteronormative people to step up and practice activism. Parents can and must lead by example. Staying updated with policies and bills that harm trans people is paramount to standing up for trans rights. LGBTQ+ leader and queer executive Jim Fielding explains the urgency of teens supporting and not simply tolerating trans peers at this moment in time.
“Being an ally to our transgender peers is now more critical than ever. The homophobic Far Right has chosen to target this vulnerable community as an easy weapon in its cultural campaigns. Imagine the fear, insecurity, and survival instincts needed to navigate these choppy waters!
We must demand unfettered, affordable access to gender-affirming mental and physical health services. We must provide mental health and community support to the families of transgender youth as well. The Queer community must fully embrace and elevate the trans community, especially its young members. Donate to inclusive organizations like the Trevor Project and ACLU. Attend local community meetings, especially school board and city council meetings. Post your support visibly on social media. Most importantly, when in contact with a young trans person or their family, tell them they are seen and heard, and you want to help.”
Every child deserves a healthy childhood, regardless of who they identify as and what they look like. Let’s get together and use our privilege to improve the lives of transgender teens.
Leave a Reply